Choice's Knocking

I opened the door to a hallway. It was cold, dark, and daunting. Every move I made echoed off the dank, stone walls around me, mocking me; taunting me; as if teasing how alone I was. I cautiously walked down the deserted hallway, towards massive, mahogany door at the very end. They were different than all the others, taking up the whole far wall with their vast presence. But a golden glow seeped from the bottom. I was tired, painfully exhausted from my already long life, and my mouth dry with an unquenchable thirsty.

To my left, I saw a brown door labeled “NEED”, and curiously opened it. The brown room was bordered with one continuous shelf that contained small bottles. Next to each bottle, was bottle of water. I stepped in further to get a better look, and picked up one of the little bottles on the shelf. The little capsules inside made a comforting sound as I shook the container. This one was labeled “Stop the Pain”. As tempting as it was, I set it back down and picked up the next one, “Eternal Happiness”. This one was even harder to set back on the shelf. One by one, I read through all the labels. Some were harder to put back than others. When I got to the last bottle, I froze. This one was labeled: “End Your Life”. I picked up the bottle and cradled it in my hands. The small bottle felt like a fifty pound package rather than a five ounce bottle. I slowly unscrewed the top, looked inside, and tapped out a large brown pill onto my palm. I reached for the bottle of water. So thirsty and so much pain, I wanted it all to just go away. Will a loud, angry screech I threw the pills to the ground and ran out the door, away from the dark, brown room. I fell to the floor in the cold hallway, angry tears running down my face. I wiped them away quickly. Even though the hallway was deserted, I felt ashamed to have them running down my face.

I took a deep breath and got to my feet once more, putting one heavy foot in front of the other. Feeling the pull of the golden doors, my steps became faster, eventually breaking into a sprint to get out of the darkness and cold. It was so far away. I was tired, and lonely, and thirsty, and the minutes began dragging into hours. But I kept running. Suddenly, a yellow door labeled “RELAX” caught my eye and I skidded to a stop. It looked harmless enough, and welcoming. Not nearly as welcoming as the golden room down the hallway, but it looked better than the others. I opened the door to a large, yellow room filled with tables that held tall bottles and empty glasses. I rushed to the first one I saw, my mouth watering from thirst. As I began to open the bottle, my eyes widened at the smell. It was alcohol. So badly I wanted a taste, just one little taste. I wanted to drown the dryness of my life. I gripped the bottle harder. I held the bottle to my mouth, tasting the rim of the bottle. Closing my eyes, I licked my lips, thinking how easily it could numb the pain and the thirst. Reluctantly, I set the bottle back on the table and found myself once again in the dark hallway.

Startled, I began to run again towards the golden doors. I refused to look at the other doors, not wanting to stop and be tempted again. Suddenly, I heard a girl screeching at the top of her lungs. Confused, I started looking at the doors, frantically this time, trying to decide which one. What could possible hurt someone so bad to make them scream in such agony? Finally, I came to a door called “PAIN”, hearing the trapped girl within. I threw the door open as hard as I could and ran inside, to help the tormented girl; but I was too late. Her screaming had stopped: permanently. In the center of this blood red room, was a blood red bathtub, with a blood red girl inside. My heart tightened at the sight of the young girl. Her face held more pain than one could ever explain, even with a million pages. Fresh tears still streamed down her face, matching the fresh cuts on her arms. I looked into the empty, vacant eyes frozen in agony. I wiped at the tears that clouded my vision. Angry, hurt, scared: I felt a million things at once. I hesitantly walked to the tub like a zombie and gently picked up the knife hanging loosely in the dead girl’s hand. I looked from the knife, to my own wrists: contemplating. It seemed like such an easy way out, to just end all this pain and thirst. I sighed; shakily set down the knife; and went back to the long journey that awaited me outside the blood red room.

I started running as fast as I could. I didn’t know why, but I knew I couldn’t stop again. I wanted to stop; I wanted to stop and rest; to just give up and never move again. But I couldn’t. Ahead I saw the golden door with the bright light that was beckoning me in from the darkness. However, the closer I got to the door, the further away it looked. More and more things tried to slow me down, but I couldn’t quit; I couldn’t stop. I knew if I did, I’d never be able start again. I kept hearing voices calling to me from behind the doors. Voices saying: “this way”, “pick me”, “trust me”. Some rooms sounded like parties, while from others I could hear screaming. But I couldn’t go to help them again. I even passed doors that said things like: “REST”, “COMFORT”, and “SLEEP”. I wanted so bad to go into those rooms, even though they looked as dark and scary as the hallway. Yet, my feet wouldn’t stop.

The golden door began to shine brighter the closer I got. And, the closer I got, the more welcoming it looked. My feet started running faster, wanting so bad to be inside the safety of the golden room.

I fell to my knees just out of reach of the golden door. Panting, sweating, exhausted. I felt the warmth radiating along the floor. I could hear humming coming from inside. It was beautiful, the door. Shinning like a star, even though no light touched it. It looked so heavy. I wondered if I could even move it to get inside. Unsteadily, I stood up and pressed my hands against it, doubting my strength. Effortlessly, the doors swung open. I heard trumpets blaring, voices singing. White lights blinded me as I stumbled through the doors and they close automatically behind me. Warmth flooded my cold body, and my eyes felt alive for the first time. The room was beautiful; it was perfect. It was white, spotless in every way. In the middle of this spotless room, was a spotless white chair. I made my way through the singing angels, to the giant chair. I ran my hand along the arms of it, before gently sitting down. For the first time since I had started my long journey, I felt at rest, truly at rest. The pains, the thirst, the tiredness, were all gone. I could finally rest in comfort. I could finally surrender to eternal peace.